Night Raper

Staying up later than I should but it leaves my mind a chance to think freely. Burning the midnight oil for no reason in particular, for no reason of importance. At least there isn't a limit you could possibly exceed, if that were true i'd be saving these nights for hard times when typing up the last pages of an essay or assignment, project or lab report. It makes me wince just thinking about how soon, in just a month, school will win over me. I'll have no choice, and I hate it when I can't choose. Then again, I do appreciate it because it is only for the best and if everything were up to me...it would always be put off to tomorrow. Tomorrow, such a sick comfort! I truly do wish i didn't seek comfort in another day, the future. Funny it being that the long term future scares me to shits. Not knowing is pretty scary, maybe a little risky and depressing. Living in this neighbourhood, so close to my elementary school and the friends I have--or had--during those years of road hockey and water fights. It all seems so ridiculously simple now and our worries then were few. This is why they tell you not to look back, the nostalgia of it all. Missing the past doesn't help you move forward and why waste time at all thinking up the past when you could be planning or doing something in the present. It's a struggle for everyone now. Don't buy yourself another fancy car or tub of ben & jerry's ice cream, don't look at those old photo albums or tiny shorts that you hardly got to wear--they were your favourite! Stop holding onto material things and think! Challenge yourself, exercise your mind for goodness sake. Document it if you will because things are not people, they're not memories. Memories are what you've kept safe in your mind. These things that you've shared, moments and laughs, mix of emotion, that's all you'll ever need to have with someone or of something or some place. Those souvenirs are forgotten and thrown away, these thoughts are what you experienced and thought, in your mind they'll stay. Pictures don't have to justify memories to you what you've experience although the invention is a beautiful thing. But expand your mind like everyone else use to HAVE to. Paint a picture in your mind, furnish a journal entry so detailed and well thought that you'll put Anne Frank's diary to shame.

Expand those horizons.