Saturday, December 12, 2009


Boys will drive you crazy.

Life will drive you insane.

School will drive you to be lazy.

Heart-break will put your head in the rain.

Every week a different problem.
Every time a girl cries in the washroom.
All the families break out with more issues.
Separation happens in multiple ways.
Slutty and stupid, useless girls...
now they're clouding up my view of what is real.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

My aim is to be different.
It's not always "so easy" when everyone is trying to corrupt your thoughts and everything you do. This can easily be rejected: I just don't listen. I'm stubborn enough that I can stand clear and have a hay day being who I am. Despite if it is not what I want to be. There is enough people in the world that I should not care if one person...or twenty people don't like me.

I know a guy...he loves how I am. He won't say it because...well...he just wouldn't.
He has a lot to learn about me. Or maybe nothing at all.

Friday, November 27, 2009

The Walking Ghost

He's there, you just can't see him.

In fact, he'll be everywhere you've been and where you are now...

you just refuse to notice.

You'll complain about your rarely difficult life

And he'll be there still, way ahead of you

Because his life will always be harder to bare.

You will cry at night for yourself and misery

And he will be crying too, but his pain is greater.

Well, on a night you thought would be magical,

He's living every day off of bleeding and powder

He sees pain and himself suffer

Just so he won't see reality.

Because the reality is,

He has no one and nothing but you,

to remind him why he's alive.

Monday, July 27, 2009


I'm an idiot, truly.
But at least I'm not uptight.
I pity those who are closed in because they have fear in their eyes but think no one sees.

I'm the one that's there through it all.
I show myself...inside out.
The most vulnerable ones are those that hold back and curl into themselves.
I won't call them ignorant...just unknown, unfound, unloved...
What do I know?
I know that it comes to me...I know it makes sense and so will you.
I'll give you a puzzle but you have to put it together.
I'll give you a hand...but you need to learn to stand.
I will give you a push but you need to continue.
You may resist but it shows me you're crying out.
No one else will I will.
I'll be taunted and ridiculed but as long as I'm helping I'll put me feelings aside.
I will be a cause, I will need, but to show example of mistake.
I will show it's okay to be yourself and be okay.
As long as you're being yourself, you'll be fine.
No one can control how you feel but yourself.
Being cynical proves nothing to those who know behind your facade.
Negativity is a charade in the grand scheme of things.

Not everyone can practice what they preach, I think, as long as you TRY then you're already in the right place.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Once Upon A Time... The Ugly Story

Once upon a time...
There lived a maiden in a castle where she tended to her majesties' deeds. The maiden was getting older but her energy never ceased, she feared that she would never get married or have a child of her own. At the same point in time there also lived an aged mason whom also tended to the majesties. He was getting older and lonelier and wondered if he would ever have anyone that could soon take over his position, he had hoped to have a son. One night a mysterious figure came floating through the night gaining way toward the castle. The mysterious character approached the King speaking quiet with haste. The King appeared to have much respect for the strange visitor, or maybe just fear. The following morning the King demanded the presence of his two highest servants to the throne. These servants were none other than the head mistress, Genevieve and the mason, Matheous. When they arrived the King promptly announced that the two peasants were to be married that evening. Genevieve then cried out, "Why must I marry to a man I do not know of, and why must it be so urgent?" The Queen slowly approached the pleading Genevieve and took her hand as she said, "It has been requested by a secret counsel that I dare not speak of. It is very important and there will be consequences if you fail your demands." The Queen gave her one last sorrowful look and Genevieve reported back to her quarters. Matheous was filled with confusion, what could it be in that secret counsel that would cause his Majesty to become so vulnerable.

That evening, in a dirty, lesser hall of the castle, Genevieve and Matheous were joined in matrimony. For the last time that night the King and Queen gave the couple their last demand. "You must go forth and conceive a child."The Queen exclaimed. "You will go to the cabin in the forest of Neska and return to your duties promptly in the morning." The King continued with a sense of discomfort. So they got their barings and set off through the forest of Neska. Now, Genevieve and Matheous were not even close to being acquaintances let alone a married couple since Genevieve was not in the slightest bit attracted to him, and neither Matheous to Genevieve. Still, the sorceress did not let this obstacle get in the way, she cast a spell that would envelop the forest with thick fog so that the couple would seperate while she worked her magic.

Next come...

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Once Upon a Time...

Once upon a time... Not too long ago... A girl made a GREAT friend :) She started smiling brighter and found a newLove for life. He made her feel •important• and pretty♡.

。。。A year later。。。

Fights were building into WAR for the girl that didn't think to argue. She was fighting without a shield, he always won the fight. He convinced her he was right. She pleads, "Sorry"..."I'm so sorry"..."Oh gawd, I'm sorry."..."I'm SORRY!"...I'm sorry?

Little did she know...all these apologies led to building up the one thing she thought would never be; a guy with nothing but his EGO, not so noble, not as caring, nothing like a prince.

Bitter hearts ar hard to convert. She can't change the world; neither can she change how someone feels. A hear filld with sadness, stress and anger...she's awful delicate but always stays involved. Giving up is for the princesses that wait a hundred years, a billion fairytales told at night, for someone to return to the way they were when you first felt butterflies.

To be continued...

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Based On Life

“STOP IT! You think you know me so don’t know me at all! The only reason I held back was because of your stupid captivity and always expecting that i’d be that perfect girl that would always put up with your stupid crap!” I was breathing heavy now as my feelings led to tears.
I could run right now. I know where I could run, a place where I would always be welcome.

“Drew!” I screamed as my voice became hoarse,“Drew please! Drew, I need you now!” my legs buckled under me and I feel into the moist grass.

A minute later, I heard the door open and there he was, standing over me. He almost was about to offer a hand but noticed it would be useless and so he held me in one arm and brought me into his house.

“Lee,”he replied calmly, “Lee, what’s going on? Are you hurt?”
I looked around and saw that I was in his room. I had never been in here before and i was surprised that he would bring me into his room.

“I-I” I was being so idiotic and I didn’t know why I went to him. When times were tough that’s what we were there for, to take care of eachother, we’re best friends. I felt so overwhelmed by what had happened with my parents before and now as I lay on his bed in his room. I couldn’t breathe properly at this moment and now i was infested with tears struggling to give him an answer.
He pulled me into his warm embrace, he was so strong, I felt so safe. “Lee, please tell me what happened? You’re starting to worry me.”
I wiped my face with my sleeve and looked into his weary eyes.

"I had a fight with my parents," He looked at me slightly stern. "I know it probably wasn't so bad that I had to runaway but-but-I didn't know what to do and I-I just needed to get away," my voice broke as the sobs came back into play.

"Ssshh, breathe Lee, breathe!" he spoke to me softly.

"Oh my God, I can't believe I'm doing this to you! I feel like such a...a baby!" That didn't help, it just made me feel worse. I immediately jumped out of his embrace and stood straight infront of him.

"Lena, c'mon. You're being absolutely ridiculous!"he stood up from his bed to stand infront of me. He was at least a foot taller. He rubbed my damp arm with his hand and pulled me in, this time I did not let go.

That night, we spent time together which we hadn't done for what it seems to be forever. He is so smart, he said we should watch a movie and I know he just did it so that I would stay distracted..and NOT cry my eyes out. It was ten o'clock when the phone rang. Drew picked up the phone.

"Hello?" he said with surprise and alarm.

"Hi, it's Teresa, Analena's mom? uh well, we kind of had a fallout this evening and she ranaway...i'm coming to pick her-"

"Uh, I don't think that's a great idea...I'm sorry, I tried to convince her to go back home but she..she's in a really torn state right now...I'm not even sure that she won't runaway from here!"

"Excuse me?! Who do you think you are! I am her MOTHER! I want to speak to my daughter RIGHT NOW!" she blarred through the phone.

Drew gave me the phone.


"Oh my God Lena, you are in so much trouble! How dare you do that to me and you're father! Where did you get that from? Young lady if you don't clean your act up-"

"Mom, I strongly suggest you stop right now! You know why? Because I don't have to go home, there is no point of going back anyways because you NEVER compromise. You and dad make up so much bullshit it's not even considered reasonable parenting anymore!"

"I don't have to be reasonable to suit YOUR standards. I am your mother. And what you're doing right now-running away- doesn't do anything for you."

"I'm on the brink of seriously, running away and you still give me all your shitty authority bullshit?"I paused to try and balance my feelings but i was starting to lose it. "And you wonder why I ran away."

"You know what, you are just making things worse for yourself so go ahead and do what you're doing because 'you always know what's right', tonight, I don't care what the fxxx you do as long as you are back here in the morning for school." The pain was seeping in, I could tell. It was that distinct tone she made that made me aware that what I had said did go through for the while.

to be continued...

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

OKAY. know how there is always going to be someone who hates you? Someone who disrespects you?? Well,I never did ANYTHING wrong to any of the idiots that CHOOSE to pick on me for my most visible flaw... SO KILL ME FOR HAVING A HABIT SO KILL ME FOR HAVING A SCAR Doesn't mean people have to be pure idiots and pretend that i'm not in the room. They don't have to do that! They don't have to be so insensitive...they KNOW that I KNOW what they are referring to! They are soooo cruel. Still, I can't believe this isn't the worst situation i'm going to have to put up with. Nobody notices but the victim gets hurt. I shouldn't let it get to me but I am already involved because they're talking about me! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING THEY JUST USE ME FOR A SILLY SICK AMUSEMENT OF THEIRS. They have no life and think it is cool to trash others, good people, because they aren't! It's because they are stupid and think it doesn't affect the victim...because they don't know how it feels or they don't care! Either way..they definitely don't think before they speak! If they really thought about it and searched for a good side, and realize that they are doing something wrong would be easier for EVERYONE. FML!!!

Friday, February 27, 2009


I'm back from a LONG rest. I've been reading so much and loving every minute of it!

Here's the list of books I have read for 2008 and 2009:

4 Twilight Series (all four) Stephanie Meyer
1 Betwixt Tara Bray Smith
1 Flipped Wendelin Van Draanen
1 Bloom Elizabeth Scott
1 The Truth About Forever Sarah Dessen
1 Wicked Lovely Melissa Marr
1 Generation Dead Daniel Waters
1 Evermore Alyson Noel

Total: 11 books
YAY! I've succeeded!

ahaha i'm proud of myself