Demon of Building Friendships: Exclusivity

It's so ironic how we forget our values within seconds. The most obvious thing to do but for some odd reason you don't do it. Maybe it just isn't important to you. This is so abnormal though, it's coming from the people that you thought would always do what is right and stay loyal.

Exclusivity, my friend.

Friends do not exclude each other unless these are concerns:

• Embarassing
• Humiliating--make fun of you
• Awkward and antisocial
• Opposite to your character
• Attention Grabber (if you don't like them)
• Not close enough to include
• Annoying, interrupt or disturbing

But I don't even fit ANY of those characteristics. So why am I being excluded? Especially from those who actually seem to enjoy being in my presence. I'm talking about people that might even CHERISH every moment they have with me. I just don't understand how they say they have a great time with me--I can see the sincerity in their eyes too--and yet they never reciprocate that. People have a hard time thinking in terms of being considerate. Include people in your lives if they mean something to you. It's the biggest insult to leave someone thinking that you have deceived them.

Your Heart Must Be in Your Bum and Your Brain Must Be Disfunctional

One thing that I hate is that everyone is so quick to jump to say 'I love you'. Even before they know what exactly it means. Maybe those three words are less significant than I always thought. In movies and books, in history it always seemed like the very first 'i love you' was the center point; the climax. Now, those three words are degrading because people throw them around like nothing. Those three words have become almost just as common as saying 'hi.'

Can I cry, honestly? Or would it flood throughout the Earth's land mass and finish it off with splashes of tears and tsunamis of sorrow. Youth is killing me with it's false-hope and manufactured love. No one hardly knows the measure of love and people are hardly aware that maybe what they call love is only lust. The commoner, Lust, is the devil of all relationships and the heart of confusion. It's a betrayal of the heart and mind because it means you're giving in to temptation and letting it brainwash you into thinking you're in love, in seconds. Why don't we ever take the time out to think anymore? We've got all the time in the world so there's no need to be so sure (but really unsure) and butt our head right into it. After all, it takes time to know if you're in the real thing, love isn't just wanting something or someone; it's needing. We misunderstand so well and deny any signs of truth. We're so persistent with getting all that we desire immediately. Getting things quick, never is best; waiting gets you thinking. Can we stop thinking with fantasies and finally picture reality? Lust is getting old.

How can you love someone if they are lying to you excessively? Stupid thing, why do you trust so well that your decision is the right one when you can't even be certain to trust yourself to be enough for someone? If you want someone to love you, first you want someone that will love you for who you are. If you lie to someone just so that they will be impressed because you want them to be more interested, it will come back to you. Lying will break your own heart, because when it comes down to it and you look at it from a broad perspective you realize; that person doesn't love you, they love what you made. You just don't lie or trick good people.

This is what it comes down to:

• Do you want someone to love what isn't real, be in lust, and reel them in quick?

or

• Do you want someone to love you for who you are and wait for them to thoroughly love you?

Wrong.

There is so much I don't get!
Like how I care about people that don't deserve it, How I always say "no, that's wrong" and how I always get involved.
Not anymore. I don't want to help anybody if it makes me look bad. Not that I care about what I look like because I don't care at all. I just don't get why I say anything...
I'm so bad at just being a friend...I always stick my nose into everything and that's not fair.
Let nature take its course for goodness sake! Leave them be...let them learn...and maybe they won't have to learn because they're probably right. I should always know and never try to shake, that I am always wrong.
So what if the mouse wants to cuddle up in the crocodile's sharp jaw...that's not my business because frankly, I shouldn't care and obviously don't.
No. I do care but when I say I don't care i'm wrong anyways so you could figure I'm really saying I do care.

Fine Line

To me
There's a fine line between fantasy and reality. My version of 'fantasy' can be split into two worlds: the part of reality that I just can't get around to believing, somehow it always shocks me and, the full definition of fantasy; imagination at its wildest, dreams of what I wish would be real, my true desires and the calming comfort I save for times when life becomes the bitchiest bitch of all. The fantasy-reality is chaotic because of its sick pleasantness and false-hope it gives which comes after the bait is bitten. In this 'world' everything makes me happy, but it's only temporary and then it fades away as if after knowing I can have something--after experiencing it--it no longer has as much value. When it comes and starts to pass, I think of my hypocrisy. Selfish, it's so silly, all the times I said I wasn't naive and that everyone else was...but sometimes it isn't always about being naive; it's hope. Fiction is just a charade and I hate its beautiful refuge.

Hmmph.

Boys will drive you crazy.

Life will drive you insane.

School will drive you to be lazy.

Heart-break will put your head in the rain.

Every week a different problem.
Every time a girl cries in the washroom.
All the families break out with more issues.
Separation happens in multiple ways.
Slutty and stupid, useless girls...
now they're clouding up my view of what is real.

My aim is to be different.
It's not always "so easy" when everyone is trying to corrupt your thoughts and everything you do. This can easily be rejected: I just don't listen. I'm stubborn enough that I can stand clear and have a hay day being who I am. Despite if it is not what I want to be. There is enough people in the world that I should not care if one person...or twenty people don't like me.

I know a guy...he loves how I am. He won't say it because...well...he just wouldn't.
He has a lot to learn about me. Or maybe nothing at all.

The Walking Ghost

He's there, you just can't see him.

In fact, he'll be everywhere you've been and where you are now...

you just refuse to notice.

You'll complain about your rarely difficult life

And he'll be there still, way ahead of you

Because his life will always be harder to bare.

You will cry at night for yourself and misery

And he will be crying too, but his pain is greater.

Well, on a night you thought would be magical,

He's living every day off of bleeding and powder

He sees pain and himself suffer

Just so he won't see reality.

Because the reality is,

He has no one and nothing but you,

to remind him why he's alive.